How long do the people in our life presently have to pay for the wounds of our past relationships? It doesn’t have to be intimate relationships, but friendships as well. How long will we hold people at arms length because someone from our past has hurt us deeply?
We all have to pay baggage fees even if it’s not our baggage.
Bags don’t fly free.
Southwest claims that bags fly free on their airline but they are not the cheapest airline anymore. It seems like they have higher ticket prices and tell you that bags fly free. Essentially it’s as if you are paying for a check bag even if you don’t have one.
Whether its our baggage or not in a relationship; friendship or intimate, both parties end up paying “baggage fee’s”.
At what point do we let the people in our present off the hook?
Have you ever been disappointed? Have you ever been betrayed? What about lied to? These are common transgressions that create trust issues. I think that as human beings we all have trust issues. We do however, have a choice. We choose to keep our relationships at arms length or to open ourselves up again. Granted, we could be opening up just to get hurt again but that is a risk that every one takes.
Life is about taking risks. If we play it safe all of the time we will miss out on all the adventure!
As Jon Acuff says, “If someone hasn’t told you that your dream or big idea or risk in life is crazy, then it’s not big enough”.
Have you ever heard the saying to win big you have to risk big?
Life is one big risk.
Jesus was a huge fan of taking risks. In fact, He challenged people to risk everything to follow Him.
Could you do it? Could you risk everything you have worked for? All for a tremendous adventure? And if you said no, would you be so jealous and wish you had once seeing Facebook pictures of said adventure?
Just imagine if Facebook had been around when Jesus was walking the earth. The people who didn’t want to give up everything who said, I can’t. Imagine what their feelings would be when they saw pictures of feeding the 5,000. Or what if Jesus checked in on Facebook to Lazarus’ funeral and then it quickly changed to, just kidding it’s a birthday party he’s alive!!!
We are missing so much adventure. We are saying that my baggage and my past wounds are more important than taking a risk on you. Is that what we want to say to our friends or possible partners?
We all have baggage but we choose what to do with it. We choose to use it for “good” or “evil”.
One of my favorite quotes ever is, “Experience is not what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens to you”.
So what are you going to do with your baggage?
Me and my baggage, we are going on many adventures!
How do you get to know yourself and what do you do if you don’t like who you find?
Whether you believe that everyone deserves a second chance is null and void. No one deserves a second chance. There is very little in this life that we actually deserve. Deserve…it’s such an entitled word.
1. To merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to because of actions, qualities, or situation.
2. To be worthy of, qualified for, or have a claim to reward, punishment, recompense etc.
When I think of the word deserve what easily comes to my mind is someone saying, “He deserved it, or she deserved that” but not in a positive light; but in reference to “karma” or misfortune. Every now and then you might hear someone saying “good for her, she deserved that promotion” or “he deserved to be happy”.
Who are we to determine whether or not someone deserves a second chance? Have you been hurt by people? Has your heart been broken? Have you been disappointed, lied to or let down? Have you let yourself be vulnerable only for something bad to happen? Me too, but guess what? So has everyone else. That doesn’t make us special or unique it makes us all in this thing called life together.
No one is perfect no matter what mask we attempt to wear. We all make mistakes and we all need to ask for forgiveness. The thing that I have been learning within the last year or so is that even if you do not think that what you did merits an apology if you hurt someone else or their feelings then it “deserves” an apology. Not a quick, sorry either. A whole hearted from the gut apology. We are all granted the right to have our own thoughts and feelings about anything and everything but that also means that we are less likely to agree. Life would be boring if everyone agreed all the time. Let’s stir it up, make it interesting!
Giving someone a second chance after they mess up doesn’t necessarily mean that the out come is going to be any more in your favor however it does mean that it can end better than it would have. It’s not always about fixing things but altering them to end on the best terms as possible.
So who “deserves” a second chance? No one and every one.
If God can forgive us for the magnitude of sins that we commit against Him then surely we can forgive people for hurting our feelings or breaking our heart.
Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men and their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins”.
Matthew 18: 21-23 “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sings against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times’. ’Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants”.
We all get a second chance every single day. Last I checked there were 365 days in a year…366 on leap year. That’s way more than 77 chances isn’t it? Let’s embrace our second chances by returning the favor.
I’m busy y’all. No seriously.. I’m like really busy. I might just be the busiest person that I know. I don’t know when to quit, I can always squeeze something else in. You want to meet up for dinner, talk about what is happening in your life at a coffee shop, wanna go for a bike ride, go for a run, come watch a movie, catch up over the phone, have voxer battles, video chat, text all night long? I got time for that. I will make time for that.
So what do I struggle making time for? Being Still.
Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God”
It does not say, schedule yourself 24/7 and never stop until your head hits the pillow. However, I do believe in living your life to the fullest I also believe that we need to stop and listen.
Have you ever been talking to someone and you can tell that they are not paying attention? Once you realize that they are only going through the motions of listening and not really listening, do you keep talking to them? If you like hearing yourself talk maybe you might but my guess is that most people would get their feelings hurt, stop talking and just let the conversation die or call them out.
What do you think God does when we go through the motions of listening? Maybe he’s trying to tell you something really important, or wants to have an intimate conversation with you but you won’t stop moving around and doing other things.
Should we have to schedule time in the calendar on our phone to dedicate to God? At least we know it will get done if we set aside distinct time for it right? But if you’re like me, you don’t schedule it – you just keep saying that you will get around to it.
The problem is that if I get any free time that opens up – I quickly fill it. I need to stop scheduling all my free time and remember that there’s this thing called listening that I need to do more often. Not just listening to people, because I kind of get paid to do that – but listening to God, his whispers and his callings on my life.
Okay – I am on my couch watching my DVR – does that count?
Okay I am sitting on my bed doing my daily devotional, how about now?
Warmer but no.
Okay, here I am God. Open hands, open heart.
Walk with me.
I think that we can understand the Be Still, but what does it mean to know that He is God?
For me knowing that He is God means knowing that He can move my mountains, that He lives in me, that I am His beloved, that I am His daughter, His prize, that He is my Father, my Creator, and my Heart. It’s knowing God in a way that His name’s bring power and peace into your life. He is Jehovah Rapha the God of Healing. He is Jehovah Shalom the God of Peace. He is El-Olam, the everlasting God. He is Yahweh. He is Mine.
Be Still, and KNOW that He is God.
Don’t just go through the motions. Don’t just know the right words. Live it. Soak it in. Let it mold your heart and break your comfort zones.
This is a supreme challenge for me and I have a feeling that I am not alone.
Let’s be still.
Be Open, and Listen.
What is pain to you?
Pain is how we know we are alive. Pain comes in many different forms; physical, emotional and mental. There is rarely a time when you can say that you’re 100% pain free. Pain can be stress, work, relationships, family, time and money. Pain rarely leaves without being replaced by another pain.
Pain is not what we need to be fighting, we need to pay attention to whats behind the pain; doubt, fear, mistrust/un-trust, guilt, guards, baggage, unworthiness, etc. What’s the heart reason? Pain is pain and its always going to be there. So what are you going to do about it?
Are you going to stop and let it postpone your goals, dreams, life, etc or are you going to push through, knowing that it will change/fade only to eventually be replaced by something else. And what then? Will that be the pain that stops you, or will it motivate you to persevere?
It’s all about perception. How you choose to perceive or interpret the pain. Is it a game ender? Will it derail your plan? Or, is it a reminder that yes, we are doing this and although there is pain it is for a reason. Growth hurts.
When muscles grow and expand and strengthen it’s painful. It burns, aches, pulls and strains but the end result is something better, something stronger. Growing pains.
No matter how you’re growing, whether it’s physically, mentally or emotionally it is going to hurt. But on the other side of that pain is something more efficient then what was previously in its place.