This may offend you..

Have you ever received a compliment, and thought; “Oh they are just being nice”? How do you respond when someone tells you that you look nice?  “What?  This is just something I threw together”. Why is it so hard to respond with, “Thank You”? This goes deeper than just a simple communication error. It is bigger than a missed opportunity.

We do not say, “Thank You” because we do not believe what the other person is saying. By saying “Thank You”, you accept the compliment, and agree to it.  But we don’t. We don’t accept it or agree. When we meet a compliment with misdirection, or a push off comment, we reduce the likelihood of a future compliment. Have you ever tried to compliment someone who will just not accept it? It can be very frustrating. We might even think; “Why can’t they just say thank you, and move on”. This is something that is very easily seen in others; but we tend to overlook this mentality towards ourselves. As humans we are naturally hypocrites, so this is no surprise.

So where is the root? Where does this begin, and how do we fix it? The refusal to accept compliments stems from low self-esteem. I know, this is a hot button to push, and we tend to avoid it. But, looking at ourselves through rose-colored glasses isn’t going to help us reach a deeper level of personal growth. We are flawed, blemished, and imperfect. But, we still attempt to view ourselves in the best possible light. Facing constructive criticism, or coming face-to-face with our weaknesses, is not our idea of a good time. But the truth of the matter pulses through every avoided compliment.

        If you don’t believe in yourself, you won’t believe it when someone else does. 

When we look for the escape route within a compliment we are not only telling the world that we do not affirm ourselves; but that if you do not agree with their opinion you will not hear them. You may listen but you will not truly hear the words that are being said.

The belief that we are good enough, or pretty enough, starts with us.  We have to put faith into ourselves, and enter into a realm of self-acceptance. This is not something that anyone can do for you. It is a choice.  It is a choice that each, and every one of us needs to make for ourselves. It starts with us, with our thoughts, beliefs, and actions towards our own reflection. We need to be our own best friend. We cannot radically change our thinking over night; it is a process. But if we don’t start today…when will we?