Did that title sound familiar?
Here’s a little more..see if you guess it.
With a taste of your lips
I’m on a ride
You’re toxic I’m slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I’m addicted to you
Don’t you know that you’re toxic
And I love what you do
Don’t you know that you’re toxic
If you’re now singing Toxic by Britney Spears, you nailed it! If you are just confused then just continue reading.
Toxic can be defined as: unhealthy, dangerous, poisonous, or something that you want to stay away from. However, we are not talking about a chemical or a venomous animal, we are talking about people. Toxic people can catch you off guard. One can be so invested that by the time they realize it, it’s almost too late. The venom begins to paralyze.
Knowledge is power, and just like knowing the saying for snakes…
Red on black…friend of Jack…Red on yellow, kill a fellow.
Being well informed can save you a lot of pain and heartache.
1. The Manipulator – They are experts in manipulation. Their talent is finding what your buttons are and then pushing them to get what they want.
They are toxic because they begin to eat away at your belief system and self-esteem. Your values, morals, and boundaries can become compromised and you can begin to lose your sense of identity.
Manipulators tend to function out of a fear of being out of control. They will manipulate in order to avoid vulnerability and trusting others to take the reigns.
2. The Narcissist – The Narcissist believes that the world revolves around them. They can be blunt about getting their needs met and in the beginning their direct approach may seem refreshing. Your needs are unimportant to them, it is all about making sure they are taken care of.
They are toxic because your energy levels become drained due to focusing on them, and you have no energy left for yourself. Not only are you emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically dehydrated but you will also begin questioning your sanity. It will seem odd that they seem to be so happy within the confines of this one sided relationship and you are the unhappy one.
Narcissists tend to lead double lives, and have a persona that they show the world and have another one behind clothes doors that no one typically sees.
3. The Downers – Downers lean towards the negative. Their cup is always half empty.
They are toxic because they are bubble bursters, taking joy and excitement out of any situation. If you are around downers for long periods of time you may even begin to become one.
Downers tend to be insecure about themselves. They are not entirely happy about their lives and have negative thinking errors. What we believe in our heart tends to come out of our mouth.
4. The Judgers – If something does not fit a judgers belief system they automatically assume it is wrong. Judgers are typically black and white thinkers and find it difficult or refuse to see any grey area.
They are toxic because they are very critical and negative. They, like downers, can also be a kill joy. Judging is something that can be learned, so be careful because it can rub off on you.
Judgers tend to be insecure of themselves and instead of confronting those issues they project those insecurities onto other people. Judgers have high expectations and typically have a perfectionistic mindset.
5. The Dream Killer – Dream killers will tell you that you can’t or that it is impossible to do.
They are toxic because they are stuck in what is not what could be. This can begin to eat away at your self-esteem and belief in yourself. If you are around dream killer for a long period of time you may become stagnant.
Dream killers have a fear of being left behind. They do not want to see other’s succeed where they believe they cannot.
6. The Insincere – The insincere keep you at an arms length and keep things on the surface.
They are toxic because the relationship is built on a superficial foundation. You can continue to try and invest in them but you will meet a wall. They are only willing to invest in you on a surface level. If you really need an insincere they will not be there for you.
The insincere function out of a fear of getting hurt. They do not let themselves close enough to get hurt.
7. The Disrespectful – The disrespectful are inappropriate, aggressive, and tend to be bullies.
They are toxic because they can be opportunists to use any information to their advantage. They have no sense of boundaries. They do not respect your feelings, thoughts, ideas, or values.
The disrespectful tend to have low self-esteem. Instead of processing these emotions of low self-worth, they choose to act the polar opposite. The disrespectful can also be taught, many children who bully others in schools are bullied at home by older siblings or parents.
8. The Impossibles – nothing will ever be good enough for the impossibles. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations. They will continually blame you and will not take personal responsibility for themselves.
They are toxic because you will drain yourself of energy to please them and you can end up losing yourself in the process. They can even make you feel bad about yourself which can eat away at your self-esteem and self-confidence.
The impossibles are looking to fill a void within themselves. They have not grasped the concept that they need to be able to fill the void themselves. They are constantly searching for new hobbies and new people to cover up the lack they feel inside. This appeases them for a short while until they realize that the void is still present.
No one is perfect. If any of these are you…there is hope. We can face our demons, we can confront those insecurities head on. Once we deal with the root issue, the unhealthy coping that we do to cover up the pain will begin to disappear.
There is freedom and power in our choices, use it!!